Who said you're not supposed to "snoop around?"

Reasonable people differ -- greatly -- on that.

When presented with behaviors such as your wife is displaying, there's really only two ways I've seen work:

1) Verify whether or not she is having an affair, and then proceed accordingly;

or

2) Assume she IS, and proceed accordingly.

Too many people make the mistake of:

3) "I have no way of knowing, and I'm not going to snoop, so I asked her, she said she wasn't, so I believe her." And then proceed naively.

Puppy