In my experience so far, the family of the WAS is almost always right there like nothing ever happened. They are glad to the bulk of the nonsense over with and that you have taken the initiative to want to still be with their wounded bird.
The family of the LBS, well, again in my experience, are not so thrilled about the one who wounded their bird back in the mix of things. For mine, at first, everybody was excited of the concept . Then when they saw it was reality, all hell broke loose, litteraly in an instant and the damage seems forever done. Now, certain members of my family can hold a grudge for ions. So can I.
Friends seem to work much in the same as the LBS' family, with a twist. At first everybody is wowed by the fact the couple is back together, "we knew you guys could make it out". The good friends will realize there is still work to be done between you two and keep distant as not only are arguements abound, but this time is more about the two of you rebuilding the foundation of your relationship. The bad friends will be none other than selfish. "Well, hey, you're back together, why can't we all hang out like we did all the time" and / or just become disgusted (often times jealous) that through the worst moment in your individual lives you both found the potential best in a relationship with each other. If bad enough, you may find yourself right back in the situation of a "catalyst" friend who is trying to sabotage your efforts.
To answer your intial question on how to begin to reconcille:
Get it all out on the table, with NO ill feelings at each other and NO finger pointing.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
