Keep it that way. Are you sure she's not in contact with OM still?
I don't know for certain, but she's been way to busy otherwise. That subject came up the other day and she said that she is still remaining true to her vows - something about she has to deal with what she did and doing it again wouldn't help.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Ok couple of things - I haven't retained a L, only seeing one - She doesn't know I'm seeing one, or has seen one - I can't serve her. I live in a 1 year separation state before you can file - I guess I could have her served papers that I've retained a L?
No one said D papers. I’m talking about a cease and desist.
No major movements like closing accounts or moving money without express written consent. I realize that there is not much money there. This is just for posture.
And it WILL be effective.
Last edited by Sad_but_happy; 09/27/1006:02 PM.
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Yes, your W will be served with separation papers (unless you choose to give them to her or she waives her right to counsel and comes to your attny's office). How do you think the separation happens without her getting the papers?
You have been married for four years. It is a "young marriage" by law therefore the spousal maintenance might be 2 years at best. Your W is a young and healthy woman and anything more than a few years can be fought in court. You are not even close to reaching "vintage marriage" status which is 10 years in most states and that is when the big guns of support come to play.
Was your son born out of wedlock? I see he is 4 and you have been married for four years.
I don't know what state you live in but the entire point of a separation agreement (filed so yes, you can file just not a dissolution) provides the framework for the dissolution.
What you are doing is not easier on both of you (no structured custody schedule). It is causing drama, too much contact and too much back and forth for your son.
You don't seem very educated on the laws of your state (it's not a slam, just an observation). Does your state work off a set formula or criteria for support? Knowing the facts will help you determine what you are up against. Either way, your young marriage works in your favor.
You are not even close to reaching "vintage marriage" status which is 10 years in most states and that is when the big guns of support come to play.
I'm at 16 years... And though my wife is talented and does work part time (she would rather not work at all), and didn't work for 10 years after our children were born, I'M SCREWED!!! Don't let it happen to you!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Any able bodied ladies out there having 15+ years marriage file for alimony? Curious to know how much you got and how long you got it for. JUUUUUUST WONDERING...
Last edited by Sad_but_happy; 09/27/1006:34 PM.
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
I was not quite at 15 years (11 years). I have worked our entire marriage. I get four figures per month and the first number on the check is not "1". We have no children. He also pays my health/dental/vision insurance and I am to remain the sole beneficiary on all his insurance/investment accounts until I remarry. I also was awarded 80% of our liquid assets and he had to pay all my legal fees. Oh, and he had to leave the home and was only permitted to take his clothes and personal belongings with him.
Funny what people will give up when their affair is about to be blown wide open via a trial.
Criteria varies by state. I live in a fault state. I am also considered "unhealthy" as per my state's criteria (I have SLE). In my state the number of years you are married, age and health of both spouses (we are both 35 btw) and children (does not apply to us) are considered. That and the fault based judgement.
We are now legally separated (have been since Nov. of 2009) so he has fulfilled almost one year of obligation. He has four more to go. I will be filing for divorce this Dec. and will request an increase in spousal maint. I am only requesting an increase to be compensated for the bills I paid while we were legally separated while he dragged his feet tending to portions of the agreement.
My H opted to leave the marriage once I was diagnosed with lupus. Only I didn't know he left the marriage since he was "playing" married (with a GF on the side). I certainly did not choose to have SLE. Had I known he would bail when I got sick I never would have married him in the first place. Affairs are serious business in my state (NY) and I simply requested I be financially compensated for the decade plus I invested in someone that felt they could pick and choose what vows to honor.
ETA: Of course we had communication issues but none that warranted an affair. Once I was diagnosed I begged my H to become involved with me and my health crises C and he said no. He said he simply resented the fact that I was sick too much. Is that his whole reason? No. But it was the "final" reason.
My state is a "No Fault" state. Even so there has been no affair. I have to say that I have no problem with supporting the person that gave up everything to raise the children (though she had no real aspirations other than to be a mom anyway).
I worked two full time jobs and put myself through school to keep her home so EVERYONE sacrificed.
As long as there is mutual respect from both parties and the realization that everyone needs to live. My beef is with those people with an attitude of, "take him for all he has". It’s also with those people that want lifetime support. That’s Bu!!sh!t!!
A 40 year old woman has the ability to be a lawyer or a doctor if she so chooses... So don’t give me this, “I’ll never be able to make what he makes, boo-hoo”.
I'm not talking about you City! Seems that you got sick and he bailed. That's awful... I am talking about those able-bodied women (and men) that decide to be an eternal leach just because they married someone... That’s entitlement and it’s crap!
Just venting!!!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
