She had a date with another man last nite. She also wanted to see if she still had YOU spinning on her other stick (you're the second "plate.") Factor in a little plain ol'-fashioned jealousy (all her questions about you, and what you're doing, etc.), and it's really not all that complicated.
how long did it go on that you were unaware? what were the obvious signs that in retrospect you could kick yourself for not noticing? why did she decide to end it and give you another try?
what behaviors are you seeing that might make you think Déjà vu?
what behaviors are you seeing that after reading many many of the other people's series of threads on this site, who for 6-9 months keep posting:
"not my wife, never," "she wouldn't do that" "I have nothing to go by" "She's too busy, she doesnt have time for an affair" "she said she is going to her friends and I believe her" "she told me the problem is me that I will never change" "she doesnt want to work on the marriage all she wants to do is go out and act single" (for starters)
then one day post, She's been having an affair all along. Are you noticing in your wife?
what behaviors are you seeing that after reading many many of the other people's series of threads on this site, who for 6-9 months keep posting:
"not my wife, never," "she wouldn't do that" "I have nothing to go by" "She's too busy, she doesnt have time for an affair" "she said she is going to her friends and I believe her" "she told me the problem is me that I will never change" "she doesnt want to work on the marriage all she wants to do is go out and act single" (for starters)
then one day post, She's been having an affair all along. Are you noticing in your wife?
This is pretty common. So many people say "No way, not ever" and then ... it's true. I hope that is not your case, but never doubt it could very much be a possibility.
You maybe right but at the moment I have nothing to base that on, there are no real tell tale signs.
The reason she does not once to work on it is she is scared that I slip back into my old ways, well that's what she has told me, and I understand that.
I can only continue the way I'm going and hope that it's for the best for my family and not only me?
But if there was somebody else why be naked near me?, why the interest in me, why is she still here??
I sensed a real connection on Saturday, I even thought there was a point were she was going to touch me, maybe she was close, hence the sudden withdrawl, i'm not sure I just need to look after me.
Why be naked near you?
Easy, to give you a glimpse of what you can't have anymore.
To tell you indirectly that they're giving it to someone else, to tease you, to hurt your feelings, to keep you submissive, to give you false hope, etc. etc. etc.
As I have nothing to base anybody else on, should I ask her straight if there is anybody involved?
I asked this a few weeks ago when she dropped the bomb, but she totally denied it, saying it was about how I have acted.
I have to keep focused on me and not think about another person.
I am happy in me and need to keep that my priority.
It's just the mild flirting, walking round half dressed that has me confused, it's like she wants me to react, but is it so that it can be used against me??
Yeah ask her straight, she's never lied to you before, why should she start now?
You: "Wife are you having an affair?" Wife: "No I am not!" (as she says this, she puts on new pair of sexy thong underwear in front of you, she seems to be wearing a lot of new underwear lately, and she also seems to be taking care of herself much more, she spends more on hair, nails, makeup, tanning, clothes, working out, eating better and she sure does go out more than she used to)
You two months later... "OMG I can't believe she was cheating me all that time?!"
