Here's how I see it, if he has filed for D, then his decision is pretty clear.
Some couples can and do work through infidelity but only when both partners want to. If one partner doesn't, then there is nothing the other person can do to change their feelings/decision.
SOA, if you want to, call H today and tell him that you do not want a D but that you will respect his decision for one if that's what he wants. You may also want to ask him if there is anything you can do to save M on your part or any suggestions he may have as to how you guys can work on your M. That will give you peace of mind that you told him you didn't want a D and expressed interest in reconciling. If he doesn't respond affirmatively or tells you he is done, well honey, I'm sorry, but there is nothing you can do.
Get your L today and tell him what's going on.
SOA, you do sound really remorseful about what you did and the only think I can tell you is not to repeat this again. Your H may come around but he also may not--it may have been the dagger to his heart that couldn't be removed.
Take care of yourself in the interim. Prepare for the worst and have zero expectations.
