Albuquerque living

[Albuquerque]

Missher,

I love your perspective. This is the umpteenth time he's mentioned drugs/alcohol. He's on anti-anxiety (Xanax) and anti-depressants and likes to mention how he often has to combine with alcohol to get relief. I've learned to ignore that so I guess I should be glad that I didn't even really pay attention to that part of the email. I naturally ignored it without even thinking about it! And I think you're spot on with the rest. I also seriously never even considered calling him. (Once you mentioned it, I found that insight kind of surprising) I just left him the opportunity to call if he wanted to.

TG,

To answer your questions, then no, based on your description. I'm not the rescuer/fixer nor did I fill that role during the M. I have no illusions of being able to fix his situation. Our last R talk (pre-DB) had me agreeing with him reluctantly that the M was over. I have since regretted not telling him that I was standing for the M. I looked at this as an opportunity to briefly discuss the R (since he brought it up first) and just let him know that. I agree with you that he's TOTALLY not ready to discuss any serious R talks and even IF he wanted to come home, I'd tell him no. He's still very broken. If he asked me my opinion, I'd recommend counseling (for him), but the choice and work would be up to him. But don't worry, you are not putting tacks in my saddle. I haven't responded to his "just kidding" email and don't plan to. Traditionally, he joins D and I for dinner on Mondays after her martial arts class. It'll be interesting to see what excuse he uses to get out of it since I fully expect he doesn't want to face me today.