But just so that we're speaking the same language, what would be an example of a rescuer/fixer?
I would google codependent and you'll find loads I think.
It is the tendency in the relationship as one person is struggling
> to make excuses for them > to enable them by taking care of things that are their responsibility. They get used to someone doing that. and it delays there own growth to make decisions on their own. and take responsibility for those decisions. Good and bad consequences. > to try to control things so they don't make mistakes. > become consumed by their needs and neglect your own. > Also to come to rely upon or get validation from being that fixer or saviour. It becomes part of your own self worth to fulfill that role.
We confuse love and caring with enabling the other. It is hard to break that once it is in place because both people feel a need for it and rely upon it.
He was reaching out to you in crisis.
A fixer would be consumed with his crisis. Taking it on as their own responsibility. Feeling of not being able to let them handle it on their own. Looking for solutions for them.
Was your solution that he can always come back to you?
Why was this the opportunity to tell him that the door is open?
Would his crisis stop if he did?
Hence my questions...
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
