Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

CG, I agree with you about the past. I did give her the security she needed for many years. Those last couple of years were so difficult for me. It felt like my world was crashing down on me and now matter how hard I tried to fix things I couldn't. That's when I was looking to her for something, anything as far as even the slightest bit of support. Anyway, that's all in the past for me now and I've learned to let go of that time in my life as it serves me no good purpose now. I will always remember how it affected me so that I never allow myself to be that way again.

W wants to look at those past two years and base our entire M on that. Yes, we hit a rough patch for two years but I would think a M couple helps each other through it and not run from it. Whatever at this point. I can't/won't argue with her anymore or try to get her to think logically about it.

Yes, it is her decision to cut and run. If she wants to base her decision on a couple of very difficult years when the rest of the M was very good then that's her choice. I don't have to agree with it but I know that's her choice. IMO, there's no way a M can heal if you hold on to the past. In some way everyone's sitch is based on the WAS holding on to something from the past which prevents them from moving forward together.

I watched the MWD video on WAW again last night and she is so on the money with my W it's scary. MWD describing the WAW feelings of hurt, trust, etc. are spot on. It was like I was listening to these words being spoken by my W. Anyway, maybe you're right CG, maybe one day my W will realize that I was/am the person who fought to stabilize her life.