Why don't you take the initiative to go see her Grandpa without her, maybe send some flowers or a card or something to show you care in an indirect way. She has family, don't be a d!ck about it but separate yourself from her.
I'm sure I'm misunderstanding this, but are you suggesting that he will impress people by leaving his wife home and showing up at her grandfather's funeral without her?
As always John, you need to live your life, make your choices and live with the consequences. It's a lot different than giving advice to people you will never meet.
In my opinion, a mensch (good or noble man) puts aside petty differences and does what is right. You know what that is.
No one is suggesting that John be mean, cruel, or insensative. In fact, under normal circumstances this would be a perfect opportunity to reconnect, show strength, and support the WAS.
Had John been dark all this time this could have been the catalyst to propell both him and his wift to reconciliation.
But he never want dark and all there has been is crying, yelling, "I hate you", "I love you", "I can't live with you", "I can't live without you", "I want to talk to you", "I'm never talking to you again". DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!
YES JOHN, BE THERE FOR YOUR WIFE. BUT NOT AS A HUSBAND! DO NOT TALK ABOUT R!
This has the potential of being another "reason" to engage the madness. Another possible excuese why you "MUST" see her and why you were "FORCED" to discuss R.
Be there for her as someone that loves her. But please please please, if she tries to engage you in R talk, tell her, "we will discuss this at another time". Say it in a calm loving way, but say it so she KNOWS that she better listen to you.
Good luck!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
