Faith, I know this was posted by you back in your thread but it's something that jumped out at me and it's something that took me a while to reconcile within myself. I'm hoping I can give you a shortcut there.
Originally Posted By: FaithnAK
So I feel like I'm cutting against the grain by doing something that I dont like done to me.
My problem with responding...is it feels like I have to. Also, when I have done it it winds up biting me in a$$ somehow. The other side of the coin is... if I don't respond I feel like it's vindictive and cold.
How do I choose?
Like you, I was also stuck when being treated like a freakin carcass getting cr@pped and pi$$ed on. I've always believed you treat people the way you want to be treated regardless of how they treat you.
Then one day WhiskeyTango posted on my thread - You treat people the way they deserve to be treated. For sake of brevity and I'm too lazy to type more, here's the post on my thread that discusses how I got that internal dissonance resolved:
One thing not in that thread but it's somewhere I posted is I finally realized if I was treating someone like cr@p I wouldn't want them to just take it. I would want them to draw healthy boundaries and protect themselves from my behavior. Up until I saw that I always thought I wanted people to treat me nice and with patience. What a bunch of cr@p. If I'm being an a$$, treat me like I'm being an a$$. So I finally reconciled treating people the way they deserved to be treated with treat people the way I want to be treated and saw drawing healthy boundaries and not taking people's bull is the same in both instances.
It really helped me when I saw it.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
