I realize she is not going to change her mind overnight and am not hoping for that. In fact as much as I might like that in theory, it would actually not be good. She is moving back home with her parents who live a couple hours away and so I'm hoping for a reasonably nice evening of (trying to be) normal. She'll have a nice taste of life without me over that time. I think I'm going to have to chronicle it here as it will be tough to not initiate contact. For the dinner, she may have said yes because she felt guilty but over a month ago I asked her at least 4 different occasions when she said no. Since she has expressed second guessing on the separation, I went out on a limb again. Maybe she feels guilty, maybe not. She said yes this time and in the past I've canceled our plans at the last minute more than once. Time to suck it up and do it. It's going to be slightly awkward and uncomfortable but so are first dates. I feel like I am at the gates of Dante's hell - "abandon all hope ye who enter here" but gonna be there with a smiling face. If I canceled - not sure what she would think. Probably that I am flaking again and not making her a priority and can't even commit to dinner. Or she'd be curious if she was no longer that important to me. Probably a mix. Time to think about boundaries I can set if the opportunity arises....
