Then she asks for pity from me now, how lonely she feels, and how scared she is of failing at college. No acknowledgement of the fact of how she has broken my heart, it's like she doesn't give a damn. How can someone's personality change like that from a loving caring person?
No pity, she should have worried about the consequences of what would happen when she cheated on you. Failing at college, she's worried about that but she doesn't worry about the damage she inflicted when she cheated on you? That is my point, her priorities are out of whack, you don't even register, what she did to you doesn't even register as important because you are no longer important to her, you have no value to her. The only way to have value is to let her go, because she still has you if she can come home and cuddle with you. When she doesn't have you to shelter her, and she has to rely on herself to take care of herself because you are no longer there to help her, when you start going out with your friends when she has the kids and you stop doing stuff around the house and when you start hanging out with other women, that's when fear of loss sets in, that's when she will be woken up and motivated to pursue you and fight for the marriage and if she doesn't, well you have really lost anything at that point and actually gained the final truth about your spouse.
