Sanderika I think that there is a lot going on on Upside's thread, if you haven't read it.
Hearts Blessing,on Upside's current thread, suggests that we have to behave differently in the latter stages of the MLC than in the early stages. As they move out of the crisis we need to change our behaviour patterns in response. She also suggestd that initiating divorce proceedings is a huge risk. I think I can see that, but I can also fully understand why you did it.
What I have come to see is that MLC is profoundly non-rational, and our 'normal'responses to MLC behaviour are not interpreted in any kind of rational way by the MLCer, but in an emotional way that fits their own interior "thoughtscape".
For example, it seems to you and to me, extremely unreasonable that your H wants to continue a friendship with you but not move into any kind of marital reconciliation. This will not seem like this to him, for any number of reasons.
I am interested in why you, having worked so hard to recreate a friendshp with your h, which he went along with [and not all of them do this] now no longer want this? I think this is a key question.
I agree that ego and pride prevent many of them from returning. That, and fear.
