A note on latest with H, he had S for friday night, made an effort to say lets give mommy some time off, and said 'enjoy your break' smiling when he left.
On Saturday he phoned to say he was staying another night at the river, meaning that he would keep S for another night. Or at least thats what i thought he meant. So I said thats fine, and he said he could bring Ben back for me if I liked, so i said no its ok - its too far to drive just to drop him off and go back, you can keep him another night. Then he said, 'well you can come spend the afternoon at the river if you like' (doesnt want me to sleep over at river I think). So I said that sounds nice, and i drove up and spent afternoon there. He was a bit distant, sort of ignoring me a bit, I feel very insignificant, but i can feel he still cares for me with little things he does.
He makes a big deal of making sure that he has no 'romantic' feelings for me, when he says things that imply he cares.
For example he said drive safly back, for both of you. I said 'm glad i feature in there (cause he used to say drive safe just for S) - Well ,you are the mother of my child you know. " was his reply. And he was quite hurt by my saying he used to say just for S.
Then he came round yesterday spent the evening here. All was fine, but Just get the impression that he really is just trying to keep friendly as opposed to enemies or something.
I dont know. Hate this whole situation. Wish i could wake up from this nightmare now.
