Albuquerque living

[Albuquerque]

OK I'm really hoping for some feedback and some feedback quick. I've been working hard these last few weeks at being scarce with H. I've only sent him one email regarding D. He said he'd call to follow-up. Never did (wasn't expecting him to). Been turning off IM and not responding to any emails of his that didn't really warrant a response.
Last night, he sent a few emails to indicate that he was catching up on some shows that we always enjoyed watching. He knew that I had already watched the finales. I didn't really respond. Then he sent one in which he made a funny sexual comment about some of the characters. I thought it was weird that he would do so (and I DID find it funny), but as is/was typical me, I sent him one right back along with a link I had found online. He sent me a followup email complaining (jokingly) that his thoughts must not be so original if I found stuff like that online. I didn't respond. That was about 10:30 pm.

At 2:30 am I had to let the cat out. As I was getting back into bed I hear the email noise go off on my phone. I check it and find 2 emails from H. The first was at 12:30 am. It said

"I miss that. That you follow up on vague, entirely inappropriate comments. Where did we go wrong? "

The second was an hour later and said

"I should have added "totally awesome" to the list adjectives, but the moment escaped me. Ah well, it seem to do that. One of the downsides of being crazy. !!!"

The email noise I heard actually was just junk mail (for those of you doing math). I kind of think alcohol may be a factor given the bad grammar of the second email. And this is NOT the first time he's referred to himself as crazy. He's done that almost since the beginning (post-bomb). But this does represent the first time he's asked about the R. It also seems that he must have been stewing about it for a while since he didn't even send the email until several hours AFTER the event and then was still thinking about it for yet another hour. I find these good signs but I definitely realize this is probably only be a momentary moment of mild clarity.

My question is how best to respond. I, like Punkin did, have often wondered whether he knows I have left the door open for reconciliation when he's ready. I feel like this is my perfect opportunity to do so. I hold no expectations that this is the beginning of any reconciliation.