Not sure where to start or end, WAW - #2

[john28]

John, you have so many reasons for being "forced" to communicate with her. Let's be honest here, you WANT to communicate for any reason. And that's because you can't let go.

I'll agree that I haven't let go. But I don't WANT to communicate with her. At least not the majority of me. The more I do, the more this R is torn apart. I don't want anymore drama.

Everything is always "the right thing to do". Tell her to call her EA if she needs support during the loss of her grandfather.

OK, so I should tell her that she should go and cry on her past EA's shoulder of 3 months ago? That she hasn't communicated with? I think there is a difference between being dark and insensitive. Please, if I'm wrong in supporting my W during the death of her grandfather, someone else tell me that. Please.

There is a difference between being loyal and being a sucker! Your at her beckond call every minute of the day. Is she there for you? The answer...... NO!

Yup. I don't know the difference between being a sucker and being loyal. I have made myself more available to her than I should have. As far as her being there for me, I hate to admit it, but she has never not picked up the phone, or kicked me out or anything - even during my super emo moments. She has on several occasions "been there for me" such as my panic attack outbreaks, super emo phone calls, and been super flexible with S4's schedule so I can see him as much as possible.

But generally 90% she's not there for me emotionally or lovingly in the way I desire. So I am a sucker.

She continually uses my hope of reconciliation as a blackmailing tool against me. Says things like, "I will remember this" or, "This is why I left" or "I can never come back home when you do XYZ"