Ok, well i will say, so much for talking my son into being friends with the OM, i totally went to far tonight. In the past as my wife has slowly introduced OM to kids, they have taken the kids on fun outings and OM has given small gifts to my children. Well when they brought them home, I explained to my kids that they were not to bring anything home from Mommy's house, but to always leave the stuff there. They knew I didnt like OM just didnt know why. I then gave the items back to W and told her to keep her private life at her and Om house, nothing was ever to come home with the kids, especially nothing of OM`s. I set a boundary, and it has been kept.
Until tonight. My kids came home with a new football jersy (OM likes the same team as me, sucks), and new team football and a Jar of change. I asked the kids what was this stuff they brought home. I was told the OM gave it to them, i told them to take the items to their mothers car and leave them there. oldest took the ball and jersy back but his brother tried to sneak the money upstairs. i happened to see him and took it away as his mother had already left. I took it outside and put it in my car so it can be dropped off to his mothers place.
Well my too SC went nuts, slammed doors, threw things and my oldest punched a hole in the wall. They wouldnt talk to me, so I had to pull them in the bedroom away from my 6 yr old and tried to calm them down. Well my 3 boys decided they wouldnt except any other reason but the truth as to why they couldnt bring things from OM home.
I told them they didnt want to know and they needed to listen and respect my rules. They started yelling at me so i told them fine. I explained that since last october, there mom was always late from work cause she would go to OM house spend time with him instead of coming home. When she did come home she would say she had to work late and put on that everything was fine. She chose the OM instead of daddy, and left and moved in with him. I told them mommy chose to live there instead of home with the family. Mommy has done nothing that she told us she would do when she left, she didnt get a home near by, she has moved to another town and lives with om and daddy doesnt need to have anything from the OM in my home as a reminder of my family being torn apart. they accepted this explaination and calmed down.
About 20 mins later my soon to be 15 year old asked to talk. Him and i have an agreement. I dont treat him like a kid and i tell him the truth and he tells me the truth. Him and i havent always gotten along, and since we made that deal, we talk everyday and we love each other like we should. Well he wanted to know the truth about his mom. He wanted to know if his dad was going to make him move. Well I told him everything, about what his mom had done, that i still loved her, and i always would, but i couldnt wait and i couldnt let her do what she wanted and to break my boundaries. I told him, his dad was trying to get the courts to give him custody of the 2 boys, but that the court has ruled in my favour. I have a stable job, they would get to stay in the same school with their friends, and i have supported them for the last 11 years. the court has chosen me as the parent who they get to live with. He didnt need to worry. When him and I finished, he was releaved, the stress seemed to fall right off of him. He understands what his mom did, and what the om means. He also knows that if the OM ever comes near me, I will Knock him out. I know, but he asked, and i told him. He knows that if mommy were to start a new relationship with someone else, I could deal with that. I could be at school functions, it wouldnt be easy as i love his mom, but i could do it. But his mother had an affair with the Om and i would never accept him. He was pretty good, and when we were all done, he gave me a 5 minute hug, and thanked me for telling him and not treating him like a kid. He then went to bed, and was passed out in minutes.
So my wife knows that i told the kids, and that she had never break my boundaries again. She can deal with the consequences of what she has done, and answer their questions. needless to say, she isnt very happy with me, but i didnt say anything other that what I posted to her and it was by text.
