Sol... you have been through a trauma and unfortunately, you still are going through it. I found it best to describe the feeling to people like trying to tread water upside down... Practically impossible and really hard to breath. Don't sell yourself short. You need the time to recover from this trauma.
As for ADs... That is completely up to you. I didn't do ADs but I look back now and wish that I did. There were several occasions where I actually thought I was crazy and considered taking myself over to the hospital for treatment. Huddled under desks at work, sobbing on the floor of my shower... You don't have to do it that way. for some people, ADs are a lifesaver but you'll never know if you don't try. Again, up to you. I got through it mostly from my wonderful family and this forum.
Stay positive! You're doing great!
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.