An unresolved problem continues to be my W's unemployment. She does have a one day cooking job that helps to pay expenses, but my W (and I support) wants to hold onto positive activities and a lifestyle that takes a disposable income. Between her cooking job and my job, we make a respectable income that would in many cases afford a comfortable lifestyle. However, we choose to belong to a fitness club, take two vacations a year, and take weekly dance lessons. I support holding onto these positives, otherwise one is working to keep one's home, but doesn't have a life outside of it.
My W is not initiating a job-hunting process. A part-time job would provide the disposable income she desires for leisure activities, and for miscellaneous expenses like vet bills, car repair, home repair and other items. I've waited three months for her to begin moving forward on her own, and she hasn't. Her fear is that she won't be able to take a vacation for a year, if she starts a new job. I think having more structure in her week would be helpful to her, as she seems to sit in front of the computer and ruminate too much. i think a part-time job would be the next step for her to relieve financial stress, so she job-hunt from a better place.
My dilemma is how to help her move forward in a loving way. She has been using the word partnership lately. I think she has a responsibility as a partner to contribute more to the household income to maintain the lifestyle she wants.
She asked me if I would go back to Puerto Rico in a month or two. I think that is too soon. I don't want to collude in her procrastination. I would be willing to take a winter trip.
We've been thru this before with her lack of job-hunting self-initiative during unemployment. I probably held frustration and anger towards her and didn't help matters. I want to handle this situation better this time.
We're off to our first ballroom dance convention on Tuesday. We will be performing three different routines as part of a team there. We'll return on Sunday. We've put a lot of practice time over the summer, and have been diligent about personal practices, lessons, and attending practice sessions at the studio. The one instructor seems pleased with our progress; the other one seems perpetually frustrated with us. We looked as good as we're capable of this weekend, with the knowledge that there's room for continued skill-building.
CL
Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 09/26/1001:02 PM.
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
