Thanks HB for your support, I appreciate you checking in on me. As far as his decision to seek help, well, that decision was made in August, partly because he is so depressed and doesn't know how to fix it and partly because I suggested it - it wasn't a 'get help or we are done' type of thing, if that's what you're asking.
H was here last night with the kids because I went out with a girlfriend. We talked about stuff this morning, initiated by him. He basically told me he doesn't know how to stop the "OW" stuff - that as long as he has all of the negative going on in his head, it continues. He is still bringing up our marital issues from the past, (the ones that I worked on and fixed, and while for the past 4 years he told me our R has never been better - so confusing really), the reason we separated 4 years ago, and tells me he just can't get it all out of his head and that is part of the reason why he does what he does. So, he actually IS indirectly still blaming me for some of the negative he speaks of. Not on the forefront like before but indirectly.
And my boundaries are clear. We do not have a R aside from dealing with the kids. I cried and said "my husband doesn't love me enough to stop doing the wrong thing, that hurts, alot" He was crying, alot. Saying he wishes things were different and this isn't how he wants things to be. That he hopes I know he isn't doing anything intentionally against me. He said he was sorry that he has put us in this situation.
He told our S this morning that he has some issues in his head that need to be worked on, that he has made some bad decisions, and he is not around much so that mommy and daddy don't argue. That it isn't S fault and he didn't do anything wrong. He also told him that mommy didn't do anything wrong.
He has another appt. tmw morning with the counselor. And at this point, I feel rather...helpless.
I honestly do not know what if anything, I can do. He doesn't even seem to care that he is losing his wife.
