There seems to be so much that has happened over these last few days. My son told my wife on Friday that he was having a welcome home party at my house on October 16. The plan is to have 50 people mainly friends and family. Brian is going to propose to his girlfriend of 3 years. My wife told him she like his girlfriend but did not think it was a good idea to have a party in light of what is going on with her and me. He thanked her for her opinion and said he was still doing this.
I received a phone call from my wife stating the same and I told her that I HAD MENTIONED THE SAME THING TO HIM BUT I DID TELL HIM HE COULD HAVE THE PARTY AT THE HOUSE. SHE THEN SAID "OUR" house would not be presentable since she moved out. I then told her I was having the house cleaned and the food catered.
My wife then told me that she resented me for having her move out of the house while she was in school and how difficult things are for her. I was shocked and said I never asked you to leave. You did this on your own. She then hung up on me.
I then have received phone calls from her father and 2 sisters. My father-in-law said he feels my wife has feelings for me and that he thinks she will want to come back into the home. He felt that her living situation is not working out.I told my father-in-law that if that were to happen Virginia would need to get into counseling otherwise we will be back to square one. He agreed with that approach. On the other hand, the one sister who helped my wife move has had a break up with her boyfriend and has now moved back in with her husband. This sister told the other sister that she had spoken to me and that I sounded positive and upbeat and that she did not think Virginia would come back into the relationship. The sister I am close to said she told her sister that she did not know that and that anything is possible.
I have been doing reading on midlife crisis and it can be associated with an Avoidant personality which I believe my wife has had for years and is associted with midlife crisis. It can be treated with medication and counseling but again my wife would need to agree.
I am concerned that my youngest daughter has not stayed in the apartment of her mothers for 3 days in a row. She stayed with 2 different friends one night and me one night. My middle daughter who is an adult has been visting friends this past week. Basically, my wife is by herself and does nothing but study.
I know a lot has happened but what do I do if my wife wants to come back? Should I tell her to get into counseling first with her living in the apartment and see what happens. I think my wife is miserable but not to the point she will throw in the towel. Again, This is all my fault and yes she has been out of this house for 3 weeks. Any thoughts? Bobby O