You guessed right. Brooklyn it is. I can't imagine being in my sitch for as long as you have but I take comfort in the knowledge and wisdom you've shared. The hard part is truly learning and living it (especially as I'm more of a sprinter and not a marathon runner so to speak.) Riding that wave indeed...
The thing that kicked it off was in Jan 08 she told me she wanted to see a marriage counselor because she wasn't happy. We went to one for about 4 sessions until the counselor told my W she was a catastrophizer. Of course we couldn't go back because the C pushed my W's most tender button - one of her issues.
In April of 08 I got the bomb. MC from Aug until Dec. W just blew smoke up my a$$ and didn't do anything the MC told her she needed to do. MC told us both we need to do IC to dispose of the issues we each carried into the M. I did it, W went twice until the C poked her issues.
Jan 09 W said she wanted a D. MC was over. We lived in same house until Jan 10. This was after we did a forensic analysis with a PhD Clinical Psychologist who slammed her in his report. She was and is fighting me over custody.
We've been rotating in and out of the house ever since. She has made 2 attempts at getting a restraining order and now is trying a 3rd time - this time in the divorce court rather than family court.
So yeah, two and a half years of cr@p. But man have I grown. I took the opportunity to grow.
You'll come to the understanding this place isn't about saving your M. It's about saving yourself. If you can reconcile your M it will be a bonus. But I can assure you of this - if you don't save yourself, you won't save your M. Even if you reconcile, without you both making the changes the M will only go back to what brought you here now.
Read the book NMMNG. I think you'll find it speaks to you. Just my gut feeling, but I've learned to trust my gut.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
