While we of the weaker sex (!) often just want a sympathetic ear, are not actually looking for a piece of practical advice. I now realize that this was an obstacle to communication in my own couple. I would come home from work and say I was having problems with that rowdy crowd in such a class. I wanted him to say "tell me all about it chérie, I'll make you a coffee and hear you out, you must be wrecked". But he just said: "get tough with them, send them to the head's office, don't stand for any nonsense from them". End of story, and he'd get weary if I brought the thing up a second time. I wanted him to listen, he gave practical solutions and then returned to watching the box or some other more interesting activity, having done his bit.
Yep. Men see things in terms of problems and solutions. Even here on the board we tend to act that way. I didn't realize how important really listening was to my wife until she dropped the Bomb. Now I love giving her my total attention; and she can't help but open up to me when I do so. Very powerful stuff.
Originally Posted By: NotCrackingUp
Pinhead, I've been to an art class, am learning to drive (no, I don't have a driving licence, at 46, shameful but ecological!), going to the gym and was at a book fair this aft, met some interesting people and took my mind off things a bit. It's always there, but I manage sometimes to rise above it and get an aerial view, as it were. Don't know what the future'll bring, but we'll survive. You have a good weekend too. NCU
My mother was divorced at 40, didn't have any job skills, no degree, couldn't drive. Somehow raised four kids pretty well until she remarried to a wonderful man. While it was awfully tough on her, she always viewed it as a great adventure. A perspective I think is wonderful.
