Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[Dagny-2]

I have been finding myself withdrawing from the world, I’m doing what I need to get my work done and the boys where they need to be, but not much else. I know it isn’t healthy, but I feel empty, not enough energy to do any more than this.

At every turn I am still surprised by H’s actions and his complete betrayal of me and his desire to hide money and have nothing to do with me. He has taken me off the credit cards (left me one to use) and I just saw today that he no longer has his paycheck deposited into one of our two accounts. He must have opened a new checking account and has the money going there. He also takes out large amounts of cash which I’m sure he is hiding. I can document everything up to now, where the money goes, I will not know.

Last weekend he took S13 to a PSU game (13 hours away). He drove through the night and then after the game went to a boy scout function where it doesn’t sound like he was well received, he called and alluded to the fact that I have poisoned everyone there and wanted to know my thoughts on if he should be wearing the bs shirt. I tried to turn it around on him, but he said I answered the question. Then he decided to drive home during the night and arrive home to drop S13 off and go off and have his Sunday free. I didn’t like that he changes plans without telling me and also driving such a distance on very little sleep.

I am doing better at avoiding conversations, but still plenty of room for improvement. My C has told me I should let H know the conversations the boys have about the separation. H then accused me of giving them false hope. I told him I didn’t think I was and in light that he was taking his mistress to this week’s PSU game, I really don’t see this ending well for the family. Well, he had a fit. He said that what he does when he isn’t with the boys is none of my business, just like what I do on my non-boy weekends is totally up to me! He also told me that the use of the word mistress was totally inappropriate, she had no part in our separation or eventual divorce (though she is using his address on her job applications). He further went on to accuse me of making up what the boys said to try and get him back. I had many replies I wanted to write, but I decided to not do anything to escalate the tension.

I’m hurt, confused, and scared at everything he will do to try and hide money. I had a Christmas deadline, but I’m debating moving it up to Thanksgiving. I need to figure out if I want to move furniture back to PA or leave everything here (and have it evaluated for a monetary settlement). I am planning to eventually write H an email about when he wants us to move so I will have it in writing in case he would claim I moved the boys out of state without his permission. The anger he lashes at me is enormous and that has always been a weakness of mine, I’m too much a people pleaser, but this is starting (or has been and I’m slowly getting there) to go beyond the save the M stage and to the same me and the boys stage.

Dagny