Soooo, H and the other 3 chief editors quit last night. He says even if the other two change their minds, he wont. So today he wakes up and I can see him distracted and ready to snipe. I try to stay away and we talk about what happened. Last night at 3 in the morning when he returned, he said I didnt look excited. I was obviously half asleep and couldnt talk about it in depth. He was wide awake and on adrenaline.
Anyway, we had a big fight although I did try to tell him to calm down cause it wasnt me that bothered him. He got out of control because he said "I yelled" when I asked him "what do you suggest then" about something he had refused my suggestion about (what to eat for lunch). Things got outt of control with him saying he isnt gonna be controlled by me and other things that bring up underlying issues he has with HIMSELF. I even told him "I am being patient right now cause I know you are upset about work", he wouldnt let go. I drove off and drove around the block of the bank where he was taking money from the ATM. He got furious and called me a "selfish pr!ck" and few other things. Totally out of control. I saw hate in his eyes.Rage.
I shut up and we came home. He left to work and sent me a message that he was sorry and that he got out of control. I told him this is the last time he treats me like this. Next time it will be over. That I wont tolerate such a behaviour ever again and that I wont become his "outlet", his punching bag. He said he needs my support. I told him that's the way NOT to get any, wont take any outbursts like that ever again. I told him that is abuse and that he needs help.
Obviously he is under stress. But that's an old pattern I am not willing to accept anymore. If he needs support he will have it. But not by getting mad at me and letting steam off that way. The control thing surfaced again. I think it's a big issue. It's the reason I was careful not to demand that he leaves his job so far. I want to avoid him blaming me for his decsisions.
Last night he sent me a message saying heloved me and I should know that, and that all he wants is to love me and have me loving him back. It didnt last long. K
