Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Well, that's almost as long of a story as the M sitch. Here are the main issues.

We applied for a loan modification early summer of 2009. We were waiting and waiting for the bank to process the paperwork and let us know. When my wife left in October of '09 we still hadn't heard back from the bank. One of the 5 things she said to me the night she left was that she wasn't going to sign a loan modification if I didn't have a job. At that time I was looking but didn't have one yet.

Literally two weeks after she left the bank offered us a loan modification. If was good enough that we could have afforded to keep the house. Of course by that time she was gone. During that time we stopped making payments to the bank. She refused to sign the loan modification. Around that time the bank threatened to foreclose if we didn't accept the modification. They actually set a foreclosure date last November but that got cancelled because I applied for a second loan modification and that process stayed the foreclosure.

Before I was certain if applying for that modification would stop the foreclosure I asked my W to agree to sign the first modification which would have stopped the foreclosure but she refused. This was the first couple of months after she left and was really not thinking correctly. She said that she didn't care if they foreclosed. I couldn't believe she said that.

The bank offered a second modification which was a trial modification. They cut our payment in half for 6 months and if we were on time with those payments they would offer us another permanent modification. W also refused to sign the trial modification.

So in April of this year we listed the house for sale. We still were not making any payments but the ban said they weren't going to ask us for any as long as we had the ouse for sale. Fast forward to about a month ago and they offered us a Deed in Lieu but W also refused to sign that, she wanted to keep trying to sell the house. I keep in touch with the bank every few weeks to update them on the progress of the house sale. They kept telling me they would take no action as long as we kept trying to sell it. Then a week and a half ago we get a letter from the bank's attorneys saying they set a foreclosure date. Classic case of the bank and their attorneys not communicating on what's going on. So everyday for the past week and a half I'm on the phone almost all day trying to get the foreclosure cancelled. My W has done a few things to help buit not much. This is why she told me on Tuesday that all of this financial/house mess is my fault and I should be the one to take care of it. She told me she would call her D attorney to ask her for foreclosure attorneys and she (W) would call them. Meanwhile I would also call other foreclosure attorneys. Well, W never called her D attorney, she only emailed her and claims she never heard back from her D attorney. So here I am once again taking care of another huge issue by myself. Just like the past 3 years.

Now with all of this going on you would think my W would have the decency to wait to do anything with D until we get the house problems solved. Nope, her D lawyer sent me a letter Thursday asking me to a meeting to work out a S agreement for the upcoming D. Un-F'ing-believable. So when my W called me Thursday night for an update I mentioned receiving the letter and told her that it was very poor timing on her part to send that now of all times. All she said was that she told me it was coming and for the past 10 months she has told me she wants to D. That's when I got upset and asked her if she made a decision about the C together. That's when she said no and said she gave me a chance for C three years ago and it is too late now. Then she got mad and I got mad and things went quickly went downhill from there. So I got more upset and hung up.

So yesterday I called my business lawyer and he is going to try to help stop the foreclosure. I had to call my W twice yesterday to let her know what's going on. I apologized both times for getting upset on Thursday. She got upset and hung up on me two weeks ago when I confronted her about the dating website. She called me a week layer to apologize and I forgave her. So I feel it's the same sitch here that I apologized for hanging up on her.

Under very extreme and stressful circumstances I am most definitely "manning-up" for her and trying to fix this mess. She could cut me some slack and realize the pressure I'm under. I know she is too. That's why I believe she can't let go of the past and even consider a future together because we're still trying to take care of the last financial problem that exists...and it's still a big one.

Sorry for the long post. I probably said way too much but it feels good to get it off my chest. I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping very well, I feel terrible. But I'm not worried about me. I will do whatever I can to fix this house mess and I still am trying my ass off to get my W back. I wish she would just recognize how hard I'm trying with everything, lighten up a bit and give me a break. This isn't easy for me either but I'm not giving up like she is. I'm exhausted. I'm just a guy who's trying to fix his past mistakes, not make excuses anymore and get one more chance. I need to stop talking to W a out M especially now with all of this added stress.