IMO, the first thing you need to do is figure out what you want to happen. Is MC the important thing or who actually sets it up?
Is working on the M and maybe saving it the important thing or being right?
I am in MC. I researched long and hard and found that MC is not a panacea. It is actually the LEAST effective treatment avenue in all of medicine. The success rate is coservatively 25%. Copounding that dismal record is the fact that often it actually has a NEGATIVE influence on the result. You see, any mental health pro can hang a shingle and call themselves a MC. Only Liscensed Marriage and Family Therapists have any required supervised clinical experience requirements to be degreed. Even then, they might not be fully pro-marriage.
Do you really want to stand on pride and leave the selection of a person to help you resolve your difficulties to your H, who by all accounts, hasn't been terribly interested in honestly working on your M or shown a past history of having good judgement? I would do the research and find a pro-family, mc just in order to make sure you have the best chance to get SOME benefit out of this. Otherwise throw your money away in the casinos. You'll have the same odds.
He has said he would go. Take that as a positive and get to work. You can work on the things you want in time. Setting boundaries requires work and time. Don't short youself the latter because of pride.
Good luck girl!
Thank you A Goodman,
Your first ? stumps me. Really.
Not to ignore the rest of your post but I can't get passed this.
I've been a good wife. I have never looked at another man in over 20 years. Not in a sexual way..I have always worked and paid half my share. I'm in shape and take care of myself. I do all the household chores. He has to still be reminded which day is garbage day. I do all the yard work and take care of the pets. He goes to work and comes home. Sunday is for football or F1 so suck it if theres a family event..
I have to do this too? When he wrecked everything? This is where I stand. Is this pride or the doormat refusing to put herself up to get hurt again. If he shows nothing even when there is no tension and we're acting cordial to each other, when will he? I thought those tranquil moments would bring him to the realization that maybe it's time to work these problems out. They don't.
I wonder if he's in a place now where he's having his cake and eating it too.
How do I get this man to just talk to me? Put the cards on the table and stop the lies? I honestly don't think he ever will. He'll wait for me to leave so he can say She left..we couldn't work it out. I did get the ..I'll always love you and I'll always be apart of your life even after you leave..speech, so that should say it all.
