LOL--you know...if I had JUST met him I would have been like, yeah, sure buddy, not happening!
I don't even know WHAT he looks like--he is both repulsive and amazingly attractive to me--all in the span of a minute!! Just shows how fickle THAT stuff is!
But I have had him in my home, talking as friends, I have made him lunch, etc for months. I've known him a ? good year or two now!
We have some common interests. I know his LLs and can speak them fluently (they are the same as mine). I think he is very, very nice. But that is not what I go for usually.
My H called my phone and asked for my S, then my S hands the phone back to me and H tells me to "Have a fun time" (at the football game). He specifically asked S to give the phone back to me so he could tell me!
This a.m. was bad Dbing wise. Once again my H is taking my S to his parents--gives me like a day's notice that he's doing it. My S wanted to take his Gfather's golf clubs down to his other Gparents to show them to his cousin. My H is like, no, it's going to rain all weekend. I said "Let him take them down. I'd like them to know that his other Gparent did care about him and my family does NOT lie to me!" (He was CERTAIN that stepmother wasn't going to give them to him and would drop us from her life as soon as she was in North Carolina)
So he shot me a bird--made a bit deal of all the "gestures".
I know that showing strength is my only hope. I just get confused. Maybe it was good DBing on my part? Sometimes "love" doesn't look at all like "love". I re-read Gucci's statements about that again (back on pg 23? I think of my thread).
Anyway, I am alone for the weekend and the handyman may be dropping by.... But he is in the "repulsive" catagory now.lol. Thanks Pinhead for the "predator" image!!lol. I needed that!!
I am so glad you guys are here to talk to. What would I do if I was on my own....
I don't wish my sitch on anyone, but it's definitely made life interesting. And I have no idea what I'd have done if I hadn't found these boards. I'd definitely be divorced, or in the process. And I'd be a basket case.
Enjoy your weekend! Read a good book, take a long shower or bath, indulge yourself.
I just started to read "Man's Search For Meaning". I have always wanted my life to be significant in a big way but not exactly sure in what way that will be. Maybe I am still just looking for some guidance.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat, that is one of my all time favorite books. So simple, yet so powerful!!
Kat, what are you passionate about? I am so fortunate in that I have several. Too many according to my H.lol. By exploring your passions, you will find yourself on a path that will bring you great meaning and great joy. God is sooo good--he has brought a few right TO me instead of me figuring out what they should be.
You are a huge blessing to this board. I can't reach out on here like you have--you have a gift that way. You have been through things that would make normal people bitter and give up. But your spirit has not been broken, and you are still wanting to help. I pray I am not broken by this experience and come out of it intact. People like you inspire me that it can be done.
What a lovely thing to say! I think ultimately it will be helping others in some way. I also can see myself writing. I would like to do whatever I can to help save the Mountain Gorrilla as well as some of the other endangered species. We are all here together and I don't get what gives us the right to think we get to destroy the whole thing. So I suppose I am a bit of a conservationist.
Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I love those Gorillas!! It's sickening what happens to them, isn't it??
How's the book coming along? I actually just picked it up again to read for the 3 or 4th time.
Books like that keep my life in perspective. I am having some very anxious moments--I sure wish I had taken a class or two!!
Yesterday was "Meltdown Monday" again. Soooo typical--H comes home on Sunday exhausted from pretending to be the "nice, perfect guy" in front of his parents. Lays around ALL DAY watching 10 hours of shows. I made a lamb roast dinner (we raise sheep--not that big a deal) and by Monday morning, he is ready to have his "fit".
So he asks me to sit down and go over money things--I say "not until you get everything up to date--since you took over you haven't kept up with anything". There are checks and deposits he hasn't noted, etc.
So he goes through the checkbook and asks me about a check I wrote for $106,000. Yes, he says "You wrote a check for one hundred 6 thouusand dollars??"
I'm like, huh??! What are you TALKING about?? He tells me to come and look at this check.
Ok, it was for like a thousand and he has completely lost his mind looking at a few little marks afterwards and making them zeros.
Anyway, it's all designed to have a fight and I tell him he is insane. So of course he goes off on me and I grab my shoes and the dogs and go out for a walk. I hear cursing and swearing as I leave.
One of the counselors I had over the last 10 months or so told me to laugh in his face when he makes these outlandish remarks. I don't know why I never do--I don't see the humor until much later!! Then I'm dying laughing as I tell my girlfriends what he has done!
So then as typical he isn't too bad the rest of the day.
I am so greatful for the encouragement and virtual hugs up there. My heart just leaps when I see those little ((()))marks.lol.
Ok, here you go...(((((Laura))))). I am in the second section of the book. I am morbidly obsessed with the Holocaust but also other stories of WWII. Give me a personal story and it makes it all the more real.
If it makes you feel any better, here I am 2 years and 2 months post divorce and able to have a conversation with my ex. No we aren't friends and he still doesn't tell me the truth, more likely likes to avoid the truth. However I try to keep the focus on the kids and what affects them.
You just have to laugh at some of the stupid things your H does and says. Big hugs hon, I am thinking of you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
