@Walkyrie--I'm going to try and make sense of this.
I will say that the physical contact as been few and far between, I will not deny it. I may not have ML, but I have tried to give what I feel comfortable with. I have held his hand, caressed him, etc. Alot of times I only hug when he asks me for one but I do it. When I have gone a step further and initiated it, a kiss or a hug, it has been questioned.
The kiss was not enough. He came at me with that's it. That's all you can give me. Why did you do it? Why bother.
The hug...he told me it felt fake. He said that he didn't understand WHY I did it? I tried to explain it to him and everything I said was met with 'that's not good enough.'
Because of this I have pulled back. I've always had problems with intimacy and I have tried to express this to him.
I need to feel like I can give him more than just physical. Right now that's all we are. If we are not physical, then there is no LOVE. I just need to know that the love is emotional not just physical.
With him a kiss means everything is ok and everything is FAR froom ok.
I may not agree or understand exactly what you meant but I appreciate our input.
Doodi
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
