Discussion of the LBS cycles

[Truegritter]

If what I said stung, then you and GRIT give excellent advice about that.

Did someone shout my name?

I put LFW stages up because it helped and still helps me.

Not that the stages are goals but I think definetly speaks to the fact that this is a PROCESS.

That is the first thing you have to realize in this tragedy we all share.

I can see once I have passed through a stage only when I look back. Never have I had the awareness when I was experiencing that stage to know that's what was happening.

That is what we bring here for ourselves and others. The benefit of the objective perspective.

And I also cycle through the stages or maybe the emotions associated with the stage but they do not define my daily expereince anymore.

I think maybe that the stages are defined by what our overiding focus or perspective is.

If we wake up angry and resentful and it is pervasive in our life then we have to move through that stage because it is not healthly.

Does anger come still... sure it does but you handle it differently because you have learned and understand.

It really is about accepting things for yourself and letting go of things that don't serve you.

And you only learn that by experiencing in my opinion.

Leading the MLCer?

Only consequently. If we are focusing our choices and our life on leading the MLCer then you are not moving forward.

We must learn to seize our own life. Make choices for us based our own beliefs, truths etc.

From our core.

When you do that you are leading yourself and you are a witness to that.

A witness to yourself.

The faith comes in knowing that by doing this any of the possible outcomes that can happen...

You will be ok.

In that sense your spouse MAY see this,

and

It MAY be something they want in their life

It MAY be the strength they need to help them through

It MAY show them what you value in your life, vows, and M

It MAY be they see the expression of what your love for them means to you.

IT MAY show them your honor, dignity and grace.

The important thing is we have to do this for ourselves and to stop watching them...

to see if they see it.

to see if they are following.

do it independent of the expectation that they will SEE.

That is the path of the LBS.