Discussion of the LBS cycles

[PEI]

Although the strict definition of the word lead is "to show the way to by going in advance", I still think it implies an investment in the other "following". Otherwise, you wouldn't be leading, you would just be doing? No? And for me, an investment in the other following is not condusive to detachment. Slippery slope as far as I'm concerned.

I agree that knowledge of of the stages is important for compassion (both towards our MLCer and ourselves), understanding and growth. And knowing that cycling is normal and part of the healing process is also very important. I just don't see how dedicating large amounts of time to trying to figure out where each of you are in the process is healthy, detached or purposeful ... when quite honestly it's likely that neither can objectively evaluate from the "inside" anyway (at least not without the benefit of hindsight).

This journey that we are on albeit (for most of us) not by our choosing is a long crazy trip that does not (and cannot) have a defined path. I think the more I understand this, the more I will not be so hard on myself for feeling stuck.

I would think that being on a path and moving would leave one not feeling "stuck" ... stuck to me sounds like an understanding of the existence of a process, but no involvement in it. I also wouldn't consider cycling "stuck" as it is part of the healing process, however, one should be moving through them and experienceing them at various levels and with deeper insight into one's own self ... hmmm, let me try a visual. Picture a mountain, and a person running frantically around the base of the mountain, cycling as it were. Now picture someone else, also running around the mountain but this person is gradually making her/his way up a spiral path towards the top. Still cycling, but now with recognition of the landscape and the loops go faster as s/he climbs.

I wanted him to see the "lighthouse" and be drawn to it, but I didn't want to get too far ahead of him. So the fog wouldn't get too thick. I was scared still.

It took me letting go of the FEAR, more than letting go of the MLCer, that propelled me along further.

Well said. And great point.

Personally, I'm trying to now live my life and I guess I am hoping to "lead" by example ... but I'm not hoping to lead anyone in particular, well, maybe my kids ... perhaps "set an example" would be more accurate. I'm going to take B-lady's advice and make sure I am the best ME I can be everyday, and when I fall short (I know, I know, too easy...) I will learn and grow and move forward.

Peace
PEI