Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Thanks bustorama. I've gotten past the worrying if I'll be fine if we D. Enough time has passed that I don't really worry so much how I'll be. I have no choice anyway.

Biggest mistake I continue to make is arguing with her feelings and it's gotten me nowhere. I need to stop that, it doesn't work.

When we talk about the M, all she says is that she is done. Said that she hasn't felt differently over the past 10 months of S. Then she'll bring up reasons and things during this 10 month S between us that I've done that has reinforced her not trusting me. The reasons she gives are things that I did to protect myself as a result of her doing things like taking money from our account, etc. I try to tell her that my actions were just reactions to things she did and that I needed to protect myself. Of course she doesn't see it that way. I asked her if I had basically rolled over and gave her everything she wanted if that would have made her happy and trusted me. She doesn't answer that question.

When she tells me things like she's done, she's moved on, she doesn't feel any different, she can't give me what I want, etc., it makes me feel like her nice moments we have together recently are all fake. I think that those nice moments don't mean anything and it's nothing to build on afterall.

For Dudess. I remembered something else I said to W when she said she was falling apart. I put my hand on her back and told her to hang in there and everything would be alright. This was after I told her she looked good.

Still no contact from W after my voice mails to her yesterday. I'm sure she's still upset from our conversation on Thursday. I had to give her two important house updates yesterday. In both messages I apologized for the way I acted during that last conversation.