Discussion of the LBS cycles

[cat04]

I don't know if anyone here actually has a problem with the stages persay...

It may be more with the idea of trying to place oneself in one that is a bit difficult...

If I had to pick one, I would say that I am in the final stage, but I also experience many of the others daily.

At 3 and a half years post bomb #948, I am very comfortable saying that.

Looking back, at year one post bomb...I was no where close to where I am now, in fact, I would guess that I was probably still stuck in denial and barganing at that time. Then came bomb who knows what, and that catapaulted me into the next set of stages, anger, depression, resentment. I also stayed there for quite a while, but at the time, you couldn't convince me of that. I thought I was ready and able to accept and move forward.

That would be year 1 to 2. I grew a lot in that year. I began to really and truly heal. I began to forgive, get to know me, and really get to the point of acceptance. Somewhere after the 2 year mark, I began to really move forward, into the final stages until I just "got" there.

I can see it now. I couldn't see it then. I, like others here, tried to rush the process. I became stuck for a while. I cycled and moved and went backwards and forwards, until I was comfortable with me.

Personally, I think a lot of it was because I wanted so badly to get to the "end" and I was very concerned how that would affect my MLCer.

I wanted him to see the "lighthouse" and be drawn to it, but I didn't want to get too far ahead of him. So the fog wouldn't get too thick. I was scared still.

It took me letting go of the FEAR, more than letting go of the MLCer, that propelled me along further.

Has my MLCer run to catch up? I don't know. I have seen him move forward and backwards, but I can't and don't let that affect me.

I think the word "lead" may be what is causing a bit of a problem. I know for me it does. I don't think we can lead, but maybe we can hope that they will follow. Or at least look for the lighthouse if and when they reach "port".