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BOOO!!!!!

He can't help you?!? WTF. W.T.F.

Sorry, I'm mad at my WH, and that anger so easily transfers to yours. Yes, I need to medidate, too!!


me, 30
WH, 29
D born June 2010
M: July 2001
Bomb/S: 1/14/10
Done with it all.
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Hey piano... your mom made a good point... i imagine it ws hard for you to do, but back a few weeks ago you talked about taking the high road... well, sending the pics is definitely the high road! So if he shows OW the pics of bub, you are in them too! Awesome!

Sorry he didnt get the job frown .

Meditating... excellent therapy! Love meditating... or trying at least... not good at it at all wink

Glad to bub is doing well... xo

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Thanks for the support gals.
I am quite down at the moment, as I realise I am still stuck in the "hope" stage. Like, everything will be alright if WH just came back crying at my doorstep begging for forgiveness, which just isn't happening!!!

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Originally Posted By: Piano
Thanks for the support gals.
I am quite down at the moment, as I realise I am still stuck in the "hope" stage. Like, everything will be alright if WH just came back crying at my doorstep begging for forgiveness, which just isn't happening!!!


My mantra when I felt like this was, "I can handle it." It's your responsiblity to love yourself and keep moving forward. Old military expression - "hope" isn't a plan. What are you going to do to get thru this and thrive? Once you develop a plan and get busy your whole demeanor changes and people will notice. You can handle it.

Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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I think we can cling to the hope when we are overwhelmed...and that is what hope is for! Motivation to keep moving. BUT, like Coach says, you can handle it. I mean, you ARE. I remember getting to that point maybe 6 months ago? I was like "I am doing this...I CAN do this...I don't like it but I am adjusting to my new life."

But your advice to G is what will help you as well--her H is all over the place so she should worry about herself...


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

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Coach, thankyou. Your mantra "I can handle it" is something I repeat to myself often. But I need help with a plan!

I find myself living at my parents, with a newborn, on maternity leave from a job which has security but which I would like to move on from, in a country I moved back to only because WH and I decided to together. Now WH has gone back to our former country to live with OW. I feel so STUCK.

Every aspect of my life was literally up in the air when WH dropped the bomb and left me. I don't know how to build a life that I want on my own. I've never done it and don't know where to start.

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Originally Posted By: Piano
Every aspect of my life was literally up in the air when WH dropped the bomb and left me. I don't know how to build a life that I want on my own. I've never done it and don't know where to start.


I know what you mean. And can empathize on the feeling stuck, too. We went from home to our H's and now are left to our own devices and don't know how to cope.


New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
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Originally Posted By: Piano
Coach, thankyou. Your mantra "I can handle it" is something I repeat to myself often. But I need help with a plan!

I find myself living at my parents, with a newborn, on maternity leave from a job which has security but which I would like to move on from, in a country I moved back to only because WH and I decided to together. Now WH has gone back to our former country to live with OW. I feel so STUCK.

Every aspect of my life was literally up in the air when WH dropped the bomb and left me. I don't know how to build a life that I want on my own. I've never done it and don't know where to start.


Think in terms of goals and values:

Spiritual

Physical

Monetary

Family

Social

Then create a plan for reaching each one. This is a time where you'll really need to dig deep into Piano, find out what you really want. And then step by step, move towards those goals.

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You've got this, P. I believe in you!

I felt the same way when I moved into my apt. Paying bills on my own? Sleeping alone at night? Getting my own technology, fixing my own apartment problems. . . I still deal with it, really. I ignore things like investing because I want to do it with a partner. But... here we are.

Maybe that's not exactly what you mean, but hopefully a little at least. wink

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How are you doing, Piano?


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