Not that type of action...if I was ready to date, which I am not there yet I have noticed that there are plenty of fish in the sea....I just hope that they are all honest when they say that they are single
Goodness the stuff I miss in my OWN thread while gone :P Some funny stuff going on here.
I know I've said this before, but goodness I need to go dark. I'm actually not that bad at GOING dark, but remaining is a freakin challenge for me. As everyone has pointed out here, I start doing the RIGHT things to bust this sucker, then I go right back to old behaviors and fall into her little mouse trap.
My problem has also been when I go dark, I get kind of mean. Not outwardly mean, but internally and it shows on the outside just enough to seem that way. It's tough for me not to go dark and cut her out of my life completely - then remain somewhat nice about it all. It's a tough balance for me personally because I feel like I have to be mean to make myself not care about her. But truth be told, I do care about her, so I do the same crap old behavior that never worked.
Mediation appointment was set tonight. October 6th. About two weeks out. My new goal is to remain dark until then. I think when I set a goal that is short-term I can achieve it. I don't think I've done that yet. Mediation will easily take another month to get through after our first appointment. I'll just go with the flow and give her what she wants and try my best to remain dark and experiment for the next two weeks.
She is really starting to push me too damn far lately. I'm loyal to a fault. All my friends say that about me. But I'm starting to discover that even my lines of loyalty can be crossed and that trait given up. That's pretty scary for me. And it is certainly coming close to that point now.
She keeps saying that she wants this time apart to work on herself and make herself a better person. THEN she can come back home. What the hell is that? Clearly by my actions she knows I'll wait around forever. The only way to counter that is to go dark. REALLY dark. It's for my own sanity really.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Goodness the stuff I miss in my OWN thread while gone :P Some funny stuff going on here.
I know I've said this before, but goodness I need to go dark. I'm actually not that bad at GOING dark, but remaining is a freakin challenge for me. As everyone has pointed out here, I start doing the RIGHT things to bust this sucker, then I go right back to old behaviors and fall into her little mouse trap.
My problem has also been when I go dark, I get kind of mean. Not outwardly mean, but internally and it shows on the outside just enough to seem that way. It's tough for me not to go dark and cut her out of my life completely - then remain somewhat nice about it all. It's a tough balance for me personally because I feel like I have to be mean to make myself not care about her. But truth be told, I do care about her, so I do the same crap old behavior that never worked.
Mediation appointment was set tonight. October 6th. About two weeks out. My new goal is to remain dark until then. I think when I set a goal that is short-term I can achieve it. I don't think I've done that yet. Mediation will easily take another month to get through after our first appointment. I'll just go with the flow and give her what she wants and try my best to remain dark and experiment for the next two weeks.
She is really starting to push me too damn far lately. I'm loyal to a fault. All my friends say that about me. But I'm starting to discover that even my lines of loyalty can be crossed and that trait given up. That's pretty scary for me. And it is certainly coming close to that point now.
She keeps saying that she wants this time apart to work on herself and make herself a better person. THEN she can come back home. What the hell is that? Clearly by my actions she knows I'll wait around forever. The only way to counter that is to go dark. REALLY dark. It's for my own sanity really.
