....I really need to be able to learn how to touch and be touched again, and to feel relaxed and pleasant,
...I need to be able to build my self esteem and confidence, but ultimately I move too slow for him.
...I don't want him to feel rejected, but I also don't want to feel like I am just a piece of flesh that he uses to make himself feel good.
Wow you really do understand the issues and know what you need to do. That is impressive.
For learning how to touch and be touched the classic approach that a sex therapist would probably use would be either sensate focus exercises or taking turns at couples massage. Both would be done for a limited period of time under orders not to allow it to lead to sexual intercourse or genital touching.
As to self esteem and confidence that is what GAL is all about. Figure out a GAL plan and implement it. Or maybe give yourself a deadline by when you will have written out a GAL plan and make that happen. Ultimately GAL is primarily for you and just secondarily for him; so the timing and getting on with it is really in your best interest in regaining your self esteem and confidence.
You have a good attitude about making your husband not feel rejected, but maintaining your integrity. Bravo. Counseling with a sex therapist might be a really good way to move forward and yet have someone to help with the balancing of these two priorities.
Good luck
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
