I might have confused the times he was out getting high (after your 15th anniversary) with potentially hooking up with some one. The text messaging scam sounds like BS though. And don't overestimate how much time an affair takes, especially if it's someone he works with.
Soleil mentioned the "info gathering" thread. It might be in the Infidelity forum. I'd try to find out for sure if there's an OW involved. It would explain a lot.
I don't understand why you don't want to check his phone. Ignorance is bliss?
Same with not wanting to go to MC. If he's willing, but wants you to take the initiative for setting it up, are you going to let your pride get in the way of salvaging your marriage? MC isn't a cure-all, but your husband might open up if you both go.
