Based on my experience, discussing financials one on one with someone you are divorcing has too much emotions tied in. You both want something different and will bump heads and get no where. Even suggestions you send each other in writing are not legally binding until all items are agreed to. Verbal is even worse as there will be misunderstanding of intentions.
A mediator is a great idea, and my XW and I visited one, but she was on the fence and I gave her more months to decide what she really wanted.
What worked for us after I decided to push through with the D...2 lawyers haggling back in forth via email. By the time of the court status hearing, we were down to just a difference of $2400 back child support that her side was asking for. Easy decision for me considering a half day trip to the courthouse with our lawyers probably cost that in legal fees.
To hell with the coming court date. You should prolong this with the possibility of her having a change of heart and so as to get a fairer deal for both of you via negotions with a mediator and/or lawyers. The court is the worst place to have financial decisions made - you both might as well roll dice.
Also, a week before my divorce was final, my wife wanted another chance. By that time, I came to a realization that I could never love her again considering the damage she had done.
I do not wish to postpone or prolong this either and we shouldn’t have to re-file. However, it is in my best interests to protect myself and secure a fair and equitable agreement. This benefits you as well.
I do wish we could have kept our agreement and had better communication, but that it is in the past now. There really is nothing we can discuss further than we already have without a 3rd party.
I’m sorry it has to be this way. Feel free to email your ideas though, I’m still willing to consider good ideas.
Here is her response:
And I'm refusing to go to mediation since it's a week prior to court. If we can see before then then I will go if not I'm out.
Here was my response:
Ok, see you in court. I’ll schedule an appointment, just in case you change your mind.
