IMO you state that you feel for her POV and that while she sees you as a source of pain for years (BS BTW), you two have also had many great times together. Say that while you can understand if she would like to leave because of that, you would like her to stay and work things out.
I think that's working right now. I'm going to keep going with it.
Originally Posted By: MrBond
Unless she starts doing some introspective work and seeing that YOU ARE NOT the cause of her "pain", things will get worse. At the very least, stop talking about the R.
Because she hasn't made any suggestion to seek professional help, while you're being intimate, she may be burying her issues below the surface. One day it will rise again. She has to deal with things right here right now. If not, you will be pulled along side her rollercoaster ride of emotions.
I've taken the initiative and gotten the numbers of a few marital counselors in town. I think I'll bring it up soon. So be kind and compassionate, but don't start feeding into her stereotype of how she sees you. Right now she's going to look at everything you do under a microscope and start nitpicking everything you do.
Originally Posted By: MrBond
In terms of the OM, no contact means no contact. If she REALLY was sorry, she would understand that any contact with the OM is not acceptable. Let me put it to you a little more bluntly. Would you like your W to keep talking to a guy she f*cked? It doesn't matter what they talk about. Contact has been made. It needs to end and she needs to respect that.
I don't like it, but it is unavoidable in this case. We can't afford for my wife not to have a job right now and her job requires that they interact in the work environment. I don't see anything that I can do in that regard.
