...She says we will probably get along better after the divorce, and maybe we will get back together some day. It seems unlikely, but she says it's not impossible. Today she told me her whole family hates her because I told them my story... BTW the truth! They disagree with her and she is furious that they may think she's a cold person to me and our kids for walking out on me. She actually asked me to tell our kids and everyone else that the reason WE decided to end the marriage was because we wanted different things. I told her, I filed because she was not faithful and I felt helpless, because she refused to try. She was FURIOUS! Sorry, but I refuse to lie so she feels better about what she did!
I truly don't think I'll ever have a chance based on her current thinking, she says it'll never be the same between us! Advise me what to do now?
When she says that the two of you will get along better after divorce, I would say something like
".... Yeah maybe you're right, I guess we'll see"
And just smile.
When she says things like this to you, it's a test, pretty much everything she does to you right now is a test, she's hurt you, beaten you down, and she's continuing to see what more she can do to you, she wants to prove to herself subconsciously that you're a weak male and not the right partner for her.
Stop letting what she does affect you so much. She wants out, point to the nearest exit, if she needs help, open the door for her like a gentleman.
It is time for you to view this as her loss, if she wants a divorce so badly, let her divorce you, let her go, let her do the work required to legally divorcing you, if she tries to take advantage of you and steal from you, and leave you homeless and penniless, stop her by protecting yourself, not by arguing with her. Get yourself a lawyer, a damn good one and let him work for you, make him work for you, you don't pay several thousands of dollars to a lawyer just to push paper and give you documents to sign, let him fight for you, tell him what you want and tell him that you don't care how he does it, just that you want him to do it, if he says he can't do it then tell him to find you another lawyer who can do it, stop taking NO for an answer.
This isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of something new for you if you are willing to embrace this as an opportunity for something better in your life.
Everytime your wife tests you, smile at her and tell her to go get a degree in education, to become a teacher, get a class of students and she can test them all day long because you're kind of tired of the all the testing she's been putting you through, you can do it but you've decided that it's no longer worth the time and effort on your part to jump through all the hoops she puts in front of you to make her happy.
Thanks but no thanks ;-)
It's time for you to man up, I think you can do it, in fact I'm pretty sure you can, you just need a really hard push to get off your a$$ and really do it.
