Puppy- Thanks for the input. I have done free consultations with a few lawyers, and from what I can gather, the fees would probably eat up most any financial gain I would get from hiring a L. H seems to be feeling very guilty and does have a history of trying to buy off his guilt, so I think the only thing he would balk at is spousal support. The L who suggested mediation does family law only and has been doing it for over 20 years-he seemed much more knowledgable than the other L's I talked to. I will get a few more free consults. Still don't know if H would even consider mediation, so I want to be sure on my position.
Pearl- Thanks for your input as well. I read through all of your sitch and admire how you stood up for yourself. My financial situation is a bit different in that we are broke from working at keeping our house while H was laid off and we are barely keeping our heads above water right now. We agreed that he would be keeping the house after the D, so it's been difficult for me to keep it clear in my mind that I can ask him to leave. I don't think he will agree to that, so I have been looking for somewhere that I can go. It's hard to 180 a lifetime of being told I would never be able to survive on my own, but I am really working at it! Got my first call back today from a job application, so I'm feeling positive. I guess when/if he comes back next week I will need to set some boundaries about when he can be in the house, and just keep telling myself that the D is his choice, so he has to deal with the consequences.
M 45 H 44 no kids-one great dog M 15 yr in Oct T 18 yr Bomb 6/10 "I can't be your husband any more"
