IMO you state that you feel for her POV and that while she sees you as a source of pain for years (BS BTW), you two have also had many great times together. Say that while you can understand if she would like to leave because of that, you would like her to stay and work things out.
Unless she starts doing some introspective work and seeing that YOU ARE NOT the cause of her "pain", things will get worse. At the very least, stop talking about the R.
Because she hasn't made any suggestion to seek professional help, while you're being intimate, she may be burying her issues below the surface. One day it will rise again. She has to deal with things right here right now. If not, you will be pulled along side her rollercoaster ride of emotions.
So be kind and compassionate, but don't start feeding into her stereotype of how she sees you. Right now she's going to look at everything you do under a microscope and start nitpicking everything you do.
In terms of the OM, no contact means no contact. If she REALLY was sorry, she would understand that any contact with the OM is not acceptable. Let me put it to you a little more bluntly. Would you like your W to keep talking to a guy she f*cked? It doesn't matter what they talk about. Contact has been made. It needs to end and she needs to respect that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
