?I want to fix this and restore our relationship. I don't care what the problems are or who started it all. I don't want retribution. I don't want vengeance. I don't want to even the score. I just want my marriage back."
There sure are alot of "I"s in that statement. Again it's not in your control. She is choosing to paint you as the bad guy. Unless she goes to therapy or chooses to start saying "hey my H isn't why I'm feeling this way" she's not going to change.
Think of it this way. She has told you that she sees you as the source or reminder of her "pain". When she looks up, there you are in her face trying to make her happy and work on the M. Do you think she really wants that?
Nothing you do is going to "make" her feel happy. She's going to have to get to that point on her own. Leave her alone. Packing her bags just serves as a catalyst. If you're in her face then she doesn't have to look at herself as being the source of her own misery. You're happy to be the scapegoat.
If you want your W back, then you've got to move out of the way.
So, are you saying that I should back off and stop talking about it? Or are you saying I should just tell her to leave or that I should leave myself? I'm not clear on what you're suggesting here.
One more thing that might be worth mentioning here is that we are not at a point where either is insisting on leaving or that the other leave. We're still very intimate and close with one another. We're trying to work this out.
As far as the other man goes, she says she isn't interested in seeing him again and that her affair with him wasn't because she wanted to be with him but that she wanted to feel something that she thought was dead inside of her and he just happened to be the right guy at the right moment.
