I think that is the word you may be looking for at this time.
Around the one year mark.......???
Finding that balance between what you have lived, and what you THINK you should live.
People around you are questioning your stand, and very few understand the want or need to do this.
You see them in the grocery line, in bank, ( or for Eric...in the Lingerie section at Wal-Mart ).
They are bitter, they are angry, they are screaming at their kids....
Not knowing why they are...just doing it.
If you asked any one of them, you may get the same answer , of WHY are you standing ?
Do you not have any self-pride ?
They are the people who don't get you, and what you are standing for.
That standing is the opposite of not having pride.
They are the collective Parliament of Bitterville. They are not bad people, and many of them could easily be your bestest buddy.
Truth is, they do not define you or your standing for you.
Many times it has been said here to NOT rush your own growth. The result ? It can be seen in a lot of these "done or not done" post that have been flying around here lately.
Standing is and has always been FOR the LBS.
Stick a toothpick in any pan of Brownies, and if it comes out "wet" ???
It takes as long as it takes.
Take the time to find that balance.
All marriages are worth standing for. Some make it through, some don't. It is a shame that they all don't.
For those who have done/doing the work...Enjoy that time with yourself, you just found you again.....
At that one year mark, most people feel the need to prove that they are ready....ready to get out and prove that we are ready to put ink to paper.
Truth is ? There is still healing that needs to happen. For us, the LBS.
I would say that I learned more from year one to where I am now than I did from B-Day to the year one mark.
And although it was ROUGH learning it....Learning how to APPLY it took way more work.
I made the decision early that I would give myself two years. Not as a timeline, rather as a guide for me. That I would grow and learn and understand all that I can. To find out who I am. And at the end of those two years, then I would be in a better place, so that I COULD make better decisions regarding myself.
Year one pressure.....What does it mean to you ?
You know the answers, all you have to do is ask the right questions.....
