you are the ultimate flip flopper future. Again. In the space of 15 minutes, you go from "end our M .... build a new life .... not vulnerable to her impulsive nature" to "the story about what happened after our wedding reception" and "W and I are going out tonight"
I don't feel like I flip flopped. I am pushing to end our M, but that doesn't mean we can't see each other while it's happening, or even afterwards, for that matter. She is competing with other women now though. I am building a new life, and I want a legal, financial, and custody foundation to build it on, which still doesn't mean we can't see each other. It does mean I am not seeing her as her married husband though. She is impulsive, it's one of her attributes. I wasn't saying that as something horrible I'm trying to get away from, just something I'm aware of, and something I need to deal with in these legal wranglings. It's charming at times, and infuriating at times.
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IS the affair still the issue?
It is as far as I'm concerned. We have no foundation for reconciliation as long as she refuses to completely abandon all ties to OM, and show me remorse. Other than that, I think we'd have a good chance at successful reconciliation. I'm at the point now though where that's just one of my possible futures, and I'm fine with it.
She is still apparently choosing to refuse to own her part, so I have no choice but to get the legal framework in place to end our M.
Eh. This no good. Until she can accept her A and what she did, it does no good for either of you.
Have fun tonight. Have you played any more gigs?
As long as I continue to push to end our M, I feel I'm doing what needs to be done. This pub that's closing brought back a good memory, which led to tonight's plan. Not sure what harm it does. Guess I'll find out.
We usually do have fun, so tonight will probably be the same. I just played my gig last week. I don't like to do repeat shows, so I need to get more songs ready. I'll play again soon.
F - I understand your feelings completely. You are in a good place. Ofcourse you are going to jump at the chance to relive a moment with the woman you love. It's not flipflopping. You're on an emotional rollercoaster. Do you "play" strong and not go with her or do you seize the opportunity to spend time with the women you love? No Expectations. No pressure. No brainer to me. this is not making what she did ok. It's just spending time with the woman you STILL love.
In the space of 15 minutes, you go from "end our M .... build a new life .... not vulnerable to her impulsive nature" to "the story about what happened after our wedding reception" and "W and I are going out tonight"
It wasn't 15 minutes. I wrote those two posts one right after the other. Just the timing of hitting the "Submit" button was 15 mintues apart. I was simultaneously feeling all of what I said, not flip flopping.
F - I understand your feelings completely. You are in a good place. Ofcourse you are going to jump at the chance to relive a moment with the woman you love. It's not flipflopping. You're on an emotional rollercoaster. Do you "play" strong and not go with her or do you seize the opportunity to spend time with the women you love? No Expectations. No pressure. No brainer to me. this is not making what she did ok. It's just spending time with the woman you STILL love.
Good Luck. PMA
Thanks PMA. You are living up to your name! That was the exact question I was asking myself. We only have one chance to relive that memory. After tomorrow, the pub is closed forever. My gut told me to take her out tonight. I think I've demonstrated to her that I will stand my ground (not going to Disneyworld, custody, etc). I do love her, but I've finally broken all my co-dependence. I don't NEED her. She has been treating me with respect and kindness, and I choose to reward that behavior.
