I think the process of healing happens in waves/stages/cycles.
I can recall in the early months post-bomb, falling on the floor, literally, sobbing. I can count on one hand the number of times that has happened in the last 7 months since the D was finalized. Only once or twice I have felt like I was back at square one, emotionally. I think that the calm periods between the waves just keeps getting longer.
Kerry and I had different experiences bc in my case, it was my xH who had to shell out alimony and a settlement, not me. And he does not experience that settlement as "freedom!"...he feels victimized that now he has to shell out money to me in alimony for the next 8 years. Never mind that he offered up alimony, it was not required as we had only (only???) been married 12 years. I did feel a definite level of relief once I was certain that my financial support would allow me to stay in my house and pay all of my bills.
It is still a matter of highs and lows. Getting my first real, good kiss a few weeks ago? Definite high. Picking up kids from H's yesterday and seeing a bag w/OWs name sitting in the middle of the living room? Low. Although there are more highs than there used to be, and fewer of those looooow lows.
