My W told me during the bomb that she is feeling like trapped prisoner. That I am controlling the R and not respecting her will to leave. That she cannot win. All of the same stuff.
It wasn't until I told her that I agree with everything she says and I will let her go, the things started to change.
But the words were not enough. I had to be honest with myself and follow it up with real actions. I stopped all pursuing and walked in the shadows.
I have not moved out of the house yet and I don't know exactly where I am right now but W seems to be happy with herself and that is all good.
Pookie, yeah, sounds like you're heard the same type of things too. Mine gives me all of the reasons to D and I give her all of the reasons not to D. I did give her the "I agree with you and I'm letting go" speech a while ago. I know she probably didn't believe me. When I gave her that speech I actually meant it. When she recently starting acting nice towards me that's when I started to reach out to her again.
My W seemed like she was starting to be friendlier to me and share more with me. I guess I wanted more and I pushed. Not smart by me. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be bothered by her L's letter.
Sounds like you're on a good path. Keep it up and I hope for the best for you and your sitch.
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
