I figured since she was on this side of town, she could come get her Snow tires...so I called. No answer. Didn't leave message and basically said F it.
4 hours after I made this call, she texted me "Any particular reason u called earlier?"
This irritated me and I feel like I'm stuck in this game I do not want to play.
Some friends asked me last night why I called her.
I didn't do it to hear her voice, I didn't do it because I miss her, I did it because the thought popped in my head that she's going to want the snow tires and since she is right behind me why not stop by and get em so I don't have to deal with this later. My thinking also led me to believe that this "Might" be the reason she wants to see the dogs. It's mind reading but I feel like I'm playing a game of Chess 10 moves forward.
I'm scared. I'm not scared that I'm losing her, because I believe that has already taken place. Right now, I'm scared because I don't want to be the person I have to be with her now. I don't want to be thinking 10 moves forward and how I'm going to react.
I conquered one fear this morning. I sent her the email of what my Attorney advised. I worded it the way my DB Coach and several of you advised. Other than the factual part of the email, which was just repeated information with no threatening, guilt trip, or R material, here is the part that frightened me
"I’ve decided that it is in my best interests to have a fair and agreeable plan put in place before we proceed through this Dissolution. Would you like me to set up an appointment with ___ or would you like us to find a different one?"
I didn't use OUR interests, because it really isn't about her and I anymore. Hopefully, she will have a clue that it benefits her though as well.
