I actually have "how to improve w/out talking" but haven't had time to read it yet. I also have 5 Love Languages... I am just SO swamped with reading from my classes that this has taken a back burner. I am beginning RR though as it truly sounds that's the best place to start.
It's actually nice to have other things to GAL and not be so concentrated on my R with H. However, I need to be balanced and make sure that I am also giving this priority in my life. Obviously not having a firm grasp of where I am at has induced some anxiety.
At this point, I think I need some good coping tools for when things aren't exactly as I would like them to be. For instance, sitting at my son's football game watching other couples interact "sweetly" while H is there, but distant - not holding my hand or showing affection like he used to sitting at football games. It's natural to be sad about that. What can I do, practically, to change my mindset? Yesterday I tried to engage my brain by focusing on the game but it got boring so my mind wandered into R zone. (I didn't show it though... I don't think.) Being out, in times like those, are hardest for me: seeing other families and couples like I think it "should" be...
Another thought: I did come to the realization this morning that mental exercises are inevitably part of this process. We have to use our brains and process what we've learned so we don't succumb to "doing what feels good" rather than what works. However, mental GYMNASTICS do not have to be: just exercises. lol
