No one wants to be "chipped away at". You need to let her be the one to bring up counseling, or coffee, or anything else. Show her confidence, strength, happiness, and let her come to you.
She thinks divorce is her best option right now, in a crappy situation. Show her a better option! Continually hammering on her about counseling, and how she is wrong, is not showing her a better option. It's just making her run faster.
If you love her, give her what she wants. Let her go. It's the only avenue she's giving you to show her, so use it. Don't worry about the dating site. It's a tough tough scene out there, and while she may be curious to meet other men, she'll have her share of bad experiences with it. If you consistently show her you're better than what she's finding, she'll notice.
